Riding the Rails of Rigamarole

Kombanwa, everyone. So nice of you to join us once again.

So the train-trip to Kawaguchiko was not as quick nor as simple as we'd anticipated. Had to catch two different trains from Tokyo to Otsuki with a three-hour pause between them in Takao, a city we'd never heard of. Still have no idea where it actually is. And, perhaps in retribution for my petulance in last night's post, we did not get to ride in the train with the cartoony Fujis painted on the side. We did see such a train up close, but it wasn't in service and the train we rode in was much less interesting. All in all, we spent about eight hours in transit, finally arriving at our Kawaguchiko hotel around 5 pm.

But I'm not a bit sorry, and I'll tell you why: Inside JR trains, next to the monitor display showing what your next stop is, you get to see a cycle of silent advertisements. Today's long hours in trains got us very familiar with these ads, and some were classic indeed. I'll recount my two favorites.

Ad #1: You will all be glad to hear that vermiculture is alive and well in Japan. These people have such affection for their worm poop that large amounts of yen are exchanged to feature it in commercials! I don't actually know what the ad was for exactly, but one scene will stick in my mind for some time. Picture, if you will, a cartoon worm with a wide smile and big, almost kittenish eyes. Couldn't be prouder of his profession, this worm. Then he eats some cartoon fruit, a bulge works its way significantly down his body, and what should emerge at the far end? Not just your average waste, but cartoony, Dairy-Queen style mounds with little smiley faces on them. As patriots, we should all be asking ourselves: Why don't American worms poop like that? Do think about it and write your congresspeople with your ideas.

Ad #2: Couldn't tell if this one was a food commercial or a public service message. We got a series of photos of plates of food, and a cartoon...thing was talking in speech bubbles and writhing all over the food. He was an oblong white thing with stringy bits at either end, plus a charming, smiling face. Could have been a bean-sprout, could have been a flagellum-wielding food parasite. But his grinning cartoon face (a face that made him look like he could easily be a sidekick for Hello Kitty) makes me think bean-sprout, as if he was writhing over all the food to suggest, "Look at all these meat dishes I adore! Wouldn't they be improved by me, the tasty bean-sprout? Bring home some sprouts today!" And at the end of the commercial, after he's won you over with his friendly writhing display, he's tossed into a hot frying pan. He spasms in agony and falls still. The end.

See the cultural enrichment you're all missing out on?

Speaking of culture and the enrichment thereof, I got initiated into the Japanese tradition of noodle-slurping today in a little udon shop on the train platform in Takao. Here's how it worked: I put money into a vending machine and selected a kind of udon (went with the plain kind, it being the only one I could both recognize and pronounce). The machine then spat out a ticket, which I brought inside and handed to the udon guys. In about 45 seconds, they handed me my bowl of udon, which I ate standing up at a counter next to other guys eating their udon. And they were all in an enormous hurry, or so it seemed from all the frantic slurping. So, being in Rome (so to speak), I too slurped away and managed to snork down my udon without burning myself and only spattering my shirt a little.

So 'twas, with one shirt clean and one bespattered, we arrived in Kawaguchiko and found our hotel. The innkeeper greeted us by name out front, and told us his name (which you fans of the TV series Heroes or the novel Snow Crash will appreciate): Hiro. He showed us to our room and other accomodations, talked us through the routines and perks of staying here, and has lent me the laptop on which I'm now writing this post. Given this, we might not be able to post daily updates while here. Don't want to trouble him for this laptop every day. But we'll definitely write a post soon after we get off the mountain in a couple of days to tell y'all how it went.

So it's now Wednesday night, and the tentative plan is: Do some walking around tomorrow, making sure to visit at least one shrine to Konohanasakuya, the goddess of Fuji, and pay our respects. Then probably attempt the hike on Friday. If anyone else feels like putting in a good word for us with Konohanasakuya before then, that would not go amiss. Understand that we're not worried. But we could do with better luck than we had last year.

Everyone take care of yourselves, and we'll see you next post.